Never Stop At The Ghetto Store (iPad x Charger lemon)
by LemonsRUs888
Summary: It's dark, cold, scary, dark, scary, and cold the iPad has someone in the dark, cold, scary, dark, scary, and cold place. WILL SHE MAKE IT OUT ALIVE WITH THIS WEIRD THING! IDK JUST READ THE THING!


**Shizzlemah: OMG HI AGAIN MY FRIENDS WHO ARE PROBABLY NOT THERE!**

**Suurlemoene: HELLO THERE INVISIBLE READERS**

**Shizzlemah: Anyway. This is our "second" fanfic! We special.**

**Suurlemoene: Yeah…. sorry this took so long to get up. We are lazy.**

**Shizzlemah: Don't say sorry. Then we'd be just like every other fanfic writer. ((UHH NO OFFENSE))**

**Suurlemoene: AHHHHHH I DON'T WANNA BE CLICHÉ**

**Shizzlemah: Too late. Anyway we should get started.**

**Suurlemoene: "LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS TO DEFEAT THE-" wait this is fanfiction not Mulan.**

**Shizzlemah: This is why I love you. NO NOW THE SHIPPERS ARE COMING!**

**Suurlemoene: Relax dude, I don't think they would be able to even pronounce our ship name. WHICH BY THE WAY DOESN'T GIVE YOU A RIGHT TO MAKE ONE NOOO**

**Shizzlemah: YEAH! OK NOW WE'LL GET STARTED!**

The Apple store was almost always extremely busy by this time of day. There were usually people buzzing around, running their hands all over me. Oh right, I should probably mention that I'm an iPad. All summer I've been sitting in this store, set on my factory defaults; not allowed to live my own life. I just hope that by the end of summer, that will change.

However, it's the 26th of July and I'm still here on the same rack that you can test out all the new Apple devices on. I'm getting a bit worried, though. 'What if they choose to replace me with a new, unused iPad!?' I thought frantically.

That's when a boy of about 13 came up to me. He was cute; even when I don't have any emotions I can see that. Anyway, after about a minute of playing Fruit Ninja a woman walked up behind the boy. "Do you wanna buy this one Matt?" She said. "Yeah." He replied back with an oh so adorable hair flip of his brown… strands. And finally after exactly an hour and eight minutes the boy, named Matt, and the women, which turned out to be Matthew's mother, were officially going to take me home as their own.

I suppose most Apple Stores don't regularly sell their display iPads, but then again this was the cold harsh ghetto. As the cashier was placing me in a box to be safely taken home with Matt, I couldn't help but notice that she'd also put a mighty fine looking charger in next to me. And, dare I say, the charger might have been cuter than the boy. 'Out of all the chargers in all the world, this one was chosen to accompany me.' For me, this was probably the best day of my entire life. I was leaving the store, I had a kewt new owner, and my charger was mighty good lookin'.

It's funny how things can change like that, huh? I mean, one day you're an iPad on display at the most ghetto Apple store ever, the next you were headed out to fulfill your dreams. Well, not exactly, I suppose. I am a machine. And machines do not dream. Although, I do have a rather impressive retina display. Seriously. I'm hot. I shine bright like a diamond, and if that's not good enough for you then goodbye.

Oh, the cover was just placed on me. It's darker and more spacious than I thought it would be in one of these boxes. There was seriously enough room for me to do pilates, if I could even do those. The limitations of being an iPad. While I was in my thoughts, because they powered me off when they put me inside the box, I felt something to the right of me move slightly. 'It couldn't have been because of the movement outside because it's rather still where we are at the moment' I thought to myself, duh.

Since I had been powered off, I couldn't see anything because my camera was unable to operate. All I had to rely on now was my senses of hearing and touch, which were rather excellent, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, it was going to be hard to distinguish between the cute charger and the cute new owner without my camera. Although, when I thought about it, the object next to me was smaller than a human hand…. so it had to be…. THE CHARGER! OMG KAWAII DESU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH SENPAI NOTICED ME AHHHHHHHH!

WO! THIS WAS ALL HAPPENING SO FAST! 'Don't worry Matthew iPad it's ok, I'm sure he was just moving a lit— OMG HE MOVED AGAIN' Wait, where are these feeling even coming from?! CAN IPADS SUCH AS MYSELF EVEN HAVE FEELINGS! That was when he spoke. It was, of course, in a language only comprehended by Apple devices and only audible to them as well. "Huh…?"

"What was that you said?" I asked the voice, which I was now sure belonged to the charger..

He cleared his throat, "I said… YO SEXY MAMA LEMME TOUCH YO BUTT"

I was shocked, "But… but… I don't have a butt."

I could feel the charger slither up to the front of my box and press his… erm… face… area…. I guess…. up against it. "That doesn't matter," he whispered, "you don't need to have a butt to be hawt." Those were the nicest words anyone had ever said to me.

Just then I felt the box shift and and heard what sounded to be the cover opening. Charger next to me went limp and I felt him leave my side. After a few seconds of rustling sounds within the the car– to which little did I know was the charger being plugged into an outlet that the car had– Charger returned to me after, but in a different, more unsettling place than before.

As if that wasn't enough to take in, I was suddenly greeted by the face of Matt once again as he powered me up and my camera turned on. This moment was perfect.

"YO SEXY MAMA I TOUCHED YOUR BUTT" screamed Charger.

I smiled, "I don't have a butt, remember. This is my charger slot."

Charger was taken aback, "Does that mean….. I was made for you?"

In my mind, I gently caressed Charger's face area, "Well of course it does, stupid, are you drunk or something?"

Charger smiled again, "Yes…. ON LoooooOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOvvvvVVVVVVVeeeeeEEEE"

It was then that I didn't feel that refreshing feeling you get while getting charged. Matt's voice reached my AKG 120 USB microphone: "Dang it. Mom, it says it's not charging." His voice said.

"Try taking out the charger and putting it back in." Came Mathew's mother's voice.

"OK.."

And that's when it started. Charger was repeatedly taken out of my slot and placed back in over and over and over. It made my battery heat up a lot.

"UGH! It's not doing anything! It will just say it's charging for one second and go back to 'not charging'! Plus all this is doing is just successfully making the iPad unusually warm."

"It could be the charger itself; not the plug. So you'll just have to wait till we get home. OK sweety"

"Don't call me that."

And so their conversation went on, but I was more focused on trying not to short circuit. Charger on the other hand was expressing his feelings WAY more openly than I was.

"WAT! AH NAW MAN THIS AIN'T HAPPNIN'" Charger was screaming really loudly, "I AM SO INNOCENT I AM NOT PREPARED FOR SUCH EMOTIONAL TRAUMA SON."

"Mom, I think this charger is broken!" Matt complained.

"I AM NOT BROKEN I AM JUST INEXPERIENCED SHUT YO MOUTH SON" By this point, It was safe to say that Charger was going completely insane

"Well," said the boy's mother, "if that's the case, we'll replace it. Just wait till we get home okay? Patience, Matthew."

Charger freaked out, "WHAT THEY CAN'T TAKEN ME AWAY! IF THEY TAKE ME AWAY I CAN'T TOUCH YOUR SWEET BUTT."

"I don't have a butt." I said, clearly irritated.

"WHATEVER! YOUR CHARGINA I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I JUST WANNA TOUCH IT!" He exasperatedly yelled.

"I bet they won't throw you out right when they get home Charger! That would be stupid. I'm sure they're at least gonna test you again when we're at their place so just calm your plug!" I reasoned with him.

"AND WHAT IF I STILL DON'T WORK HONEY BUN!"

"...Huh."

"SHUT UP!"

"Mom, even the iPad seems to be having problems. It keeps going all haywire and stuff."

The aura around Matthew's mother seemed to darken a considerable amount as she turned her head to her left so she was looking out the driver's seat window; a camera strategically placed right where she was looking.

With eyes wide in a really creepy manner she said with a straight face: "Don't ever bite out of the ghetto Apple son." And then continued to drive on as normal.

"Uhhh, Mom?" Matt said tentatively, a nervous giggle at the beginning of "Mom".

Enter hilarious Llama gif and hope it will show up in here

"Yes Matthew?"

"Nevermind"

By this time every person, or technological device in the case of our heroes, was completely silent. Even Charger, which was a tiny miracle in itself. Matthew's mother was generally starting to freak everyone out.

"Mom… do you… are you okay?"

At this Matt's mom pulled the car over to the side of the road, pulling the vehicle into park. She turned around in her seat, and looked her son dead in the eyes. "Matt. I am not your mother."

Matt was obviously very confused, "uh Mom are you sure you're okay?"

It was at this moment that Matt's mum opened her door and stepped out of the car. She backed away until she was absolutely sure the passengers could see her. "Pay close attention, son."

It was then that Matt's mother ripped off her skin coat revealing that she was actually Nicolas Cage in disguise.

"YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE FACE OF NICOLAS CAGE MATHEW! I'M ALWAYS WATCHING!" The.. now Nicolas Cage (?) yelled.

"Um, uhh" Matt was struck speechless.

"SOMEONEHASACRUSHONYOU" And with that he was off.

Matt composed himself enough to say one last thing: "WAIT! I NEED A RIDE HOME!" But it was too late.

"Dang it! The iPad is only at 20%!" Matthew said angrily.

At that exact moment a force descended from the sky….. light. A great being lowered from the skylight in Matt's mom's minivan. It was a muscular man with the face of a horse and a t-shirt with Honey Boo Boo's face on it.

"Who… who are you?!" Matt screamed.

"That is not important," said the man, "what is important is that you follow Nicolas Cage to freedom."

Matt furrowed his brow, "but I don't want freedom I just wanna go home."

The horse faced man shrugged, "Well then go home. I don't care."

"But how am I supposed to go home? I can't drive! Can you drive me?" Matt asked.

The strange faced guy considered this for a moment… "umm…. no. I can't drive."

"But how am I supposed to get home?!" Matt shrieked.

"You must fly home. Quack quack bacaw!" And with that, the man with a face that closely resembled a horse was gone.

Matt rolled his eyes, 'WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO SOONER?!" and then he turned into a butterfly and flew home. **the end**


End file.
